The day before we left Battambang, we had dinner at Jean-Christophe’s place. We left Battambang two days earlier than initially scheduled, as we had a meeting in Phnom Penh with PPS’ lawyer Mr Siphana. From Phnom Penh, we had another taxi tour of about 5-6 hours back to Siem Reap from where we would fly back home.
When in Siem Reap, we took the opportunity to visit the plot where PPS’ new circus is supposed to be built. We wonder how this place will look in a year’s time!
Saro, one of the people working at PPS, recommended that we get a massage from the Seeing Hands massage parlour. Apart from being a good massage, according to the recommendation, it also had the benefit that it was conducted by blind people, which meant that it was providing employment, economic activity and self-esteem to a group of people who otherwise would have been disenfranchised.
Wendy’s masseuse became available first, and after the massage started, she surreptitiously whispered to Sanjay “When they ask you whether you want medium or hard, don’t go for hard! I asked for medium and it’s already hard enough!”
Masseuse: Would you like hard or medium?
Sanjay: Medium
Masseuse: starts massage
Sanjay: Ow! Aaarggh! Ow! Ow!
Masseuse: continues massage
Sanjay: Aaarggh! Ah! Ah! Owwww!
Masseuse: Does it hurt?
Sanjay: Yes… it HURTS!! Aaarggh!
Masseuse: Oh. continues massage. Just as hard.
15 minutes later
Sanjay: I know I paid for a full hour, but could you end mine after only 45 minutes please? I’d like to finish at the same time as Wendy.
Masseuse: continues massage
Sanjay: Is it OK to finish early? After only 45 minutes?
Masseuse: OK
30 minutes later
Wendy finishes her massage and stands up
Masseuse: continues massage
Sanjay: Ow! Ow!
Masseuse: continues massage
Sanjay: Err, would it be OK to stop some time soon?
Masseuse: continues massage
Sanjay: Ahem, it’s been 45 minutes now.
Masseuse: continues massage
Sanjay: Let me know when you reach a good point to stop
Masseuse: continues massage
Sanjay: Please! STOP! STOP! Please!
Masseuse: Stop? Oh, OK.
Up until now, this blog has said little about one of the most striking and disturbing topics relating to Cambodia, a topic that for many is what springs to mind as soon as you mention the name of the country. In fact, it’s something that has come up very little in conversation in our time here. In a sense, that’s unsurprising – after all, you normally talk about ordinary everyday things, not the lives of your parents and grandparents, especially not when it’s traumatic.
But it really does seem that there’s a silence about this topic. This was confirmed by one of the ex-pats we talked to. Also, the current executive director of PPS told us that he previously worked on a production called Breaking the Silence, in which people who had various roles in the Khmer Rouge era were interviewed. So despite the openness we experienced with Supheap last Saturday, presumably this silence is a real phenomenon.
So why?
Well, we don’t know. But here’s some quotes that might be relevant:
“Hem Heng, the Cambodian ambassador to Washington offered an example. His family, he said, were respected in their village, but in 1978 the Khmer Rouge ordered their family killed. Villagers made a deal with the soldiers: Kill another family instead. And, sure enough, Hem Heng recalled, Khmer Rouge soldiers executed “a Chinese family in our place”. He frowned and looked at the floor, silent” Taken from “Cambodia’s curse: A modern history of a troubled land” by Joel Brinkley.
And according to Youk Chhang, who runs the Documentation Centre of Cambodia which gathers records of the Khmer Rouge regime, “people were hiding their past behaviour [after the war]. To survive during the Khmer Rouge, you had to steal, lie, cheat, point fingers at others, even kill. And now you are ashamed.”
And is there anything we encountered in our time at PPS that might help to explain this? Well, we were told that PPS tried to offer counselling services to people in the area of Battambang, so that they could (further) process their terrible memories from the Khmer Rouge era. This was not easy: if a PPS employee would visit a family and mention talking about this topic, the man would typically not say a word and pretend he found something very interesting on the ground that required his undivided attention. The women typically started crying, not able to have a conversation.
Today we attended Wedding No. 2 which took place at the bride’s house in a suburb of Battambang. Weddings typically last between 1 and 3 days and this wedding was somewhere in the middle: 1,5 day. The duration of the wedding depends on various factors, including the financial resources available to the family.
This was the wedding of one of the technicians who works at Phare Ponleu Selpak. He got married to a girl who worked at Madison, a bar in central Battambang largely frequented by ex-pats (we have been there as well).
Weddings in Cambodia start much earlier than they do back home. Fortunately for us, we managed to arrange to be there from just 8am, which is easier to stomach than the 4am-5am start that some people would have had. We were there just in time to join the groom’s procession into the house. Here is a picture of Wendy just before we joined the procession. Bowls full of tomatoes were thrust into our hands, and we joined the back of the procession. “No! No!” we were told. “The fruit has to go before the pig’s head!”
The procession was heading to the bride’s house, which is where weddings traditionally are supposed to happen. This is because, according to Cambodian custom, the groom goes to live with the bride’s family, and not the other way round. We expect that this is a positive for a culture in which alcohol abuse and domestic violence are problems.
Once inside we sat in a big aisle while the people conducting the wedding said lots of things that we didn’t understand. Fortunately Reaksmey, one of the staff members at PPS, kindly translated for us. It included some special dancers who were employed to proceed down the aisle picking up pieces of fruit that had been part of the procession. Traditionally 36 different varieties of fruit would be selected, although today, in the interests of time, just a handful were picked up.
Interestingly, the definition of fruit was quite broad. Strictly speaking, nobody should be surprised that we were holding tomatoes – after all they are fruit. And lots of the bowls contained real fruit. However other bowls contained biscuits, chocolates, jelly, beer and cigarettes. Do those count as part of your five a day?
We all then went through to a seating area to have some food. We sat at a table with several people from PPS, mostly other technicians and some performers.
Then we continued further into the house for the wedding ceremony itself. It included a ceremony to tie knots around the wrists of the bride and groom, naga weaving (passing around candles to represent protection from Lord Shiva) throwing seeds from a plant at the bride and groom, and the people conducting the wedding unsheathing a sword to represent protection of the couple.
Many people were wearing bright clothes, and the bridal couple seemed to have change into different costumes several times in the day.
After the ceremony most people went home for a bit before coming back for the reception just a short while later. When we returned we discovered that it was raining, which is highly unusual for this time of year. It meant that there was lots of mud to traipse through, but nobody seemed to mind.
There was then plenty of eating, drinking and dancing, much as you would expect with any wedding. At one point a line of people came towards our table chanting, each holding a glass of beer. Chanting, each of them then encouraged Det (one of the people at our table) to drink from the glass they were holding - there must have been about a group of 8 people. It seemed like they all really liked Det and wanted him to have fun.
We all stayed a while longer, but then we left earlier than many people, and very early by the standards of a European wedding – around 3pm. Det kindly drove us back to our hotel.
We cannot keep you in suspense any longer, dear blog readers! You must now know this exciting update! Sanjay has succeeded in getting his haircut!! We realise you may be sitting on the edge of your seat and desperately trying to contain your excitement. Try not to burst into a spontaneous round of applause, if you can. We’re sure you can now understand why the day has been eventful enough to warrant two whole blog posts.
First, some key stats:
Cost: $1 (not the cheapest one we could find – Sanjay is turning into quite the discerning beau!)
Style: Curtains (No options given!)
Optional extras: Earwaxing (Not taken up)
Somewhat interestingly, the barber did not give Sanjay any options as to what sort of haircut he would like. He simply proceeded! Sanjay did try to communicate what he wanted to the barber, but to no avail.
Here’s a picture of Sanjay before the haircut:
Here’s a picture after:
Here’s a picture of the earwaxing – this is what we missed out on!
Mission status for Sanjay’s haircut mission: SUCCESS!!!
When we were looking lost in the streets of Battambang, wondering how to get to Ek Phnom, we were lucky to be approached by Supheap the tuk-tuk driver. Supheap turned out to be a former monk who had become a layman three years ago. On the picture on the left, Supheap is showing a picture of himself when he was still a monk.
Supheap told us about how his family managed during the Khmer Rouge era. As many blog readers will know the Khmer Rouge were in power in Cambodia during the period 1975-9, during which time the population of Cambodia is thought to have reduced to around 75% of its levels prior to the arrival of the Khmer Rouge, largely as a result of starvation, but also executions ordered by the government. The Khmer Rouge forced virtually the entirety of the urban population to work in the fields in a bizarre enactment of their vision of communism.
Supheap’s father apparently worked on building a dam, and was only given a small amount of rice gruel each day, so sometimes at night he would sneak out and steal some potatoes, despite the fact that guards told him that he would be sent to “sleep” if he did so.
After the end of the Khmer Rouge era, Cambodia fell into civil war, and Supheap’s family, like many others, went into a UN refugee camp in Thailand, an experience he described very positively.
We had employed Supheap to take us to a tourist sight (Ek Phnom pagoda) but also got him to take us to the pagoda where he had spent 9 years as a monk.
Here’s a picture of Supheap in front of the room where he used to live. He also introduced us to the Head Monk of the pagoda.
Summary of our conversation with the Head Monk:
- goal: being manager of foreign company
- philosophy: money is bad and makes you sad forever
- as Head Monk, he could spend days… studying!
As we were about to leave, the Head Monk felt it important to share one story with us before we go: An American girl feel in love with a monk, the monk left the pagoda, and now they are married!
During the discussions that Wendy and Sanjay had with Jean-Christophe about PPS and the social business, we discovered that PPS has in fact launched quite a few national and international careers, including that of Kran. Jean-Christophe tells us that today, Kran is a big star in Cambodia. This might sound ironic though because Kran is actually a dwarf! As you can see, we couldn't find a picture of him, so we had to invoke Austin Powers to come to the rescue!
Kran is actually his stage name, and his real name is Ley. He grew up in a poor rural farming family in the area of Battambang. His neighbour came to PPS to do visual art, and Ley came with the neighbour. Then the neighbour stopped coming so Ley came to PPS to be able to continue his training. He used to hang out in PPS where the circus performers would mess around and involve him. He then transitioned to being involved in performing arts. He then got involved in PPS projects. He was doing a PPS sensibilisation tour about HIV/AIDS when he was talent spotted. From there is career was launched.
What would have happened if he were not involved in PPS…?
